"So, Mr. Klein, you are considering a teaching position with our college. Tell me why."

"Well, I’ll tell you straight. That’s the way I am. A straight shooter. I need a job. I’ve been given the Golden Handshake. It appears the Conservative party of this country is bent on downsizing."

"I see, and what do you think qualifies you for a position?"

"You new here or something? Did you think those anonymous donations to endow your college weren’t without strings attached? Speaking of being well endowed, did you hear the one about the..."

"Mr Klein!"

"While I’m here why don’t you make yourself useful and get me something to drink. Anything’s good for me. Ahhhh I’m really looking forward to retirement. Where would my office be here anyway?"

"The water fountain is out in the hall. Help yourself. As far as an office goes, you’d most likely share one with three other instructors."

"Share? You a commie or something? Do you know who I am? I’m King Ralph! I’ll rule this college. Say who’s the chick on the wall? Nice rack."

"The ‘chick’ is Queen Elizabeth..."

"Say that reminds me of a joke, how many times can we offend Belinda Stronach with just one line?"

"Mr. Klein!"

"We, don’t know…we just keep on going and going and going! Get it?"

"Yes I get it, I think you’ve made a mistake. This is a building of higher learning. I think you may want to try the clown school down the street."