Word Count
April 29, 2007
“Let’s see. I’ll have Some Milk Duds, a large popcorn, and a medium cola.”

“You there. Don’t move.”


“I SAID...don’t move... unless you plan on breathing through tubes for the next forty years.”

“Wait a minute. Take your hands off me!”

“You’re coming with us. Don’t make a scene. We’re just a bunch of cool guys going for a walk. That’s it. We’re going to go through that door marked with the S on it.”

“It sure is crowded in here.”

“I don’t recall giving you permission to speak. You’re in our world now. Sit down and shut-up.”

“And what world is that exactly?”

“We are the S.S. Studio Security. I am Schultz. Open up your jacket. Slowly.”

“Now see here!”

“Where are your papers?”

“My papers?”

“Your passport. Where is it?”

“I applied weeks ago, I’m still waiting. Since when do I need a passport to go to the movies?”

“Aha! And what is this?”

“It’s my cellphone. I’ve turned it off... Hey I want that back!”

“Take off your shoes. Now! We will just make sure there are no hidden recording devices in the heels.”

“Recording devices?”

“We are taking all steps necessary to stop piracy.”

“Piracy? I paid my ten dollars. What are you talking about? Give me my phone back.”

“You will be issued a receipt for it. You can apply to get it back. Okay you may go. But we will be watching you. Enjoy the movie. Which one are you seeing?”

“Cry Freedom.”
* DISCLAIMER - All Conversations/Stories are SATIRE
Copyright © 2007 Jim Sadlemyer