(In 250 Words or Less)

AUGUST 16, 2006
Word Count:250



“Houston we have a problem here.”

“What is it Mr. President?”

“It’s this planet thing.”


“First we have 9 planets, now we have 12?”

“That’s correct sir. There may be more under this new classification.”

“More? How many more?”

“At least a dozen sir.”

“Any of them hostile?”


“Hostile. Are they a threat to National Security? I don’t want to wake up one morning surrounded by a bunch of Amazonian warriors from Xena.”

“No sir, they are all completely devoid of life. They’re too far away from the sun.”

“Kinda like the moon then. Nothing there?”

“Sort of.”

“Why isn’t the moon called a planet. It’s bigger than they are right?”

“The moon is bigger but well sir, the moon is just that…a moon.”

“But if we called it a planet we’d have to name it something else right? We couldn’t keep calling it a moon could we?”

“I’m not sure I understand sir.”

“Get on board son. It’s an American flag flying up there isn’t it? The American people need their own planet. Something to protect them from outer space.”

“You want the moon reclassified as a planet so that you can rename it?”

“Yeah, you got it son. None of them funny names from the Greeks or cartoons. A good old fashioned American name.”

“What did you have mind?”

“It’s American as you can get. Something to watch over ‘em. It’ll help folks sleep at night. We like planet Big Brother Bush…heh heh.”


* DISCLAIMER - All Conversations/Stories are SATIRE
Copyright © 2006 Jim Sadlemyer