AUGUST 22, 2006
Word Count:222
ARF! ARF!
“Step over here please.”
“What’s the matter officer? Is there something wrong?”
“This is Snookums, our cosmetics sniffing dog.”
ARF! ARF!
“Ooh, he’s so cute. You’re a cute little puppy wuppy aren’t you.”
“Please don’t demean the dog Ma’am. I’m afraid Snookums has ‘hit’ on you. Are you in possession of any cosmetics or liquids?”
“Me? Of course not! I know the rules. I want to be in full compliance.”
ARF! ARF!
“I see. Would you mind if we examine your carry-on?”
“Help yourself.”
“Let’s see, cash, credit cards, appointment book, breath mints, hairbrush, various receipts, three scrunchies-pink, two chequebooks, etc.etc. ……and finally two packages of tissue.”
“You see? I told you.”
ARF! ARF!
“Please step into the room to your right. Olga will have to do an…er… personal search.”
Ten minutes later…
“You mean I can’t even wear any of it onboard?”
“Sorry Ma’am. No cosmetics on board. You can use this fine grit paper towel to scrape it off.”
“I’m so embarassed. I never thought.”
“Don’t let it happen again. You’re now on our watch list. There is no strike two. Do you understand?”
“I am sorry. May I have my clothes back now please?”
“Sorry Ma’am. A new directive just came out this morning. Seems a terrorist plot was uncovered in the garment district. They were weaving bomb making materials into clothes.”
“You mean?”
“No clothing on board. You’ll be seated next to the Sumo wrestling team. Have a nice flight. Next!”
ARF! ARF!
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