SATIRE

DAILY SATIRE NEWS
(In 250 Words or Less)
SATIRE




WHEN STARS GO BAD / LIBERAL MP BORYS WRZESNEWSKYJ RESIGNS
AUGUST 24, 2006
Word Count:250

“I’m not sure why I’m here.”

“Borys…Baby. We’re the best image consultants on the planet.”

“I don’t like the way that woman is eyeing my Ipod.”

“Put it down Winona. I’ve got my eye on you. We have plans for you Borys. Big plans.”

“All I did was suggest that we need to negotiate with the Hezbollah. The next thing I know I’m a pariah.”

“That’s opportunity knocking Borys. Opportunity. We’ll have to change your name. Borys? What is that? Too Rocky and Bullwinkle…I know! From now on we’ll call you Canuck. Johnny Canuck.”

“Now see here!”

ZZZZZZZ

“Nick! Wake up! Sorry Johnny. Russell, stop hitting that waiter and let him get some coffee into Nolte.”

“Why is it so bright in here?”

“It's Cuise. Tom! Stop that smiling. You’re only here as an observer…There. That’s better.”

“Uh, what’s he doing?”

“Sweeping for bugs. What else? Faster Charlie. You’re holding up the meeting and get off Winona’s lap!”

“Listen. I don’t belong here. I have to run.”

“Running. He gets it! Atta boy Johnny! I knew you’d see the big picture!”

“Picture?”

“Think of it. Johnny Canuck. The next President of Canada! It’s a minor role but you’d be perfect.”

“We have Prime Ministers in Canada, not presidents. I’m not even in the race. I have no funding. No backers. Politics and show business are not the same.”

“Funny, that’s what Reagan and Schwarzenegger said. Just leave everything to us.”

“I’m leaving. Now.”

“We’ll be in touch. Ciao Johnny!”

* DISCLAIMER - All Conversations/Stories are SATIRE
Copyright © 2006 Jim Sadlemyer