SATIRE

DAILY SATIRE NEWS
(In 250 Words or Less)
SATIRE




TAMIL TIGERS RUN LOOSE ON CAMPUS
AUGUST 29, 2006
Word Count:239

“…and so after they had this ‘party’ in November of 2004, you suspended them in mid December?”

“Yes. I hadn’t heard of it right away. But once we learned of it, the Disciplinary Committee was assembled. The penalty was a one year suspension.”

“The Tigers recruitment posters didn’t set off any alarms?”

“We thought they were starting up a cricket team or something.”

“And what of Waterloo Suresh?”

“Oh, he was one of them. I could tell from the start. But then after one of our talks, he braced himself up. He started his humanitarian work. Did so well I gave him an A. We were proud of that one.”

“When did you learn that the ‘organisation’ he was ‘assisting’ was phoney?”

“The first time you and the others from the FBI started sniffing around. I was humiliated.”

“Was this also when you learned that they had held another party a year later even though they were still on suspension?”

“Yes it was. I couldn’t believe it. I held another emergency session of the Disciplinary Committee.”

“I’d be careful if I were you. These people don’t have food fights. They have bullet fights. Any cars disguised as pastry is likely to be filled with explosives instead of drunken students.”

“The time for leniency is over! This calls for the most severe punishment this school can deliver.”

“You don’t mean…”

“Yes, that ‘s exactly what I mean. Double Secret Suspension!”

* DISCLAIMER - All Conversations/Stories are SATIRE
Copyright © 2006 Jim Sadlemyer