NOVEMBER 2, 2006
Word Count:250
“Is this Tom Higgins?”
“Yes it is.”
“Thee Tom Higgins? The head coach of the Calgary Stampeders?”
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“It’s Stephen Harper.”
“Stephen who?”
“Harper. The Prime Minister of Canada. I’m a really big fan.”
“I wish I could say the same.”
“Normally I don’t like to meddle in things I know nothing about but since I’m on a roll I had an idea that might help your guys beat the Green Machine.”
“I’m not sure I follow you.”
“You know, the Saskatchewan Roughriders. We’ve come up with an idea to help your team win this football game.”
“I don’t think we need any help, thanks.”
“I’ve already spoken with Ted Hellard, your team’s president and we felt that we shouldn’t have that nasty rodent of theirs running around our field. Digging up holes and what not. So we’ve had him banned from the playing field.”
“What? Why raise a controversy where none is needed or wanted?”
“Trust me Tom. It works! We’ve been doing it since we got elected. Divert their attention from the really important issues and let them waste their energy on the fluff. By game time they’ll be so worked up over that oversized rat that they’ll forget they have a game to play.”
“And you say Ted is okay with this?”
“Yes. He’s worried your team may not have enough support in the stands and he doesn’t want any outside influences stirring things up.”
“You better hope Jack Layton isn’t a Rider fan!”
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