(In 250 Words or Less)

OCTOBER 17, 2006
Word Count:250

“Uh, sir…Kim Jong-Il? Sir?”

“Can’t you see I am in the middle of breakfast? Such provocative action by you can only be construed as a declaration of war!”

“I hate to bother you but you wished to be kept abreast on the American dogs.”

“How dare you keep speaking! The taste of my sweet rolls has soured in my mouth. That is war. You must die. SEIZE HIM!”


“That is better. You there. Yes you. You, the one cowering in the corner. Approach.”

“Uh…me sir?”

“Quit asking such impertinent questions. Of course. I said approach.”

“Sorry sir. How may I serve you?”

“Another question? I consider that a declaration of war! SEIZE HIM!”


“You. Yes you. The one standing by the sugar frosted gummie bears. Approach.”

“Yes Master Kim. I must say to you it is a an honour to be your must humble, undeserving aide.”

“Oh really? Would you do anything for me?”

“Yes. It would be an honour.”

“Hurl yourself out that window.”


“Let that man be a lesson to you in patriotism ! You there. Yes you, I see you cowering there. Now that I have choked down this pitiful excuse of a breakfast. Tell me what the Americans are doing.”

“They are encouraging sanctions to protest our nuclear test but are going out of their way to state that they have no intention of ever, ever using military force.”

“So you are telling me they have declared war on us? SEIZE THEM ALL!!!”

* DISCLAIMER - All Conversations/Stories are SATIRE
Copyright © 2006 Jim Sadlemyer