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(In 250 Words or Less)
SATIRE




5 YEARS AFTER THE ATTACK / NDP CONVENTION
SEPTEMBER 11, 2006
Word Count:250

“This is awful. Just awful.”

“What’s that Mr. Harper? Ooh, 9/11 right? Sorry Sir.”

“Nine what? No, no, no, no it’s not 9/11”

“Yes it is. It’s September 11, 2006. Can you believe it’s been five years since the attacks?”

“I know what the date is!”

“I have your standard press release here. It’s your basic condemnation of terrorism type of thing. Be careful with that, it’s our only copy. If we’re still in office next year we can re-use it. I’ll just white-out the date.”

“Listen to me. I’m not worried about 9/11. It happened five years ago. It was awful. The worst disaster ever. But it was five years ago. I’m more worried about disasters yet to be.”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow you sir.”

“I’m talking about the NDP! Jack Layton!”

“Oooh, that.”

“Yes. That.”

“So, you heard about the convention they had over the weekend?”

“Yes and I want to know why I’m just learning of it today.”

“Well, the Bush people thought it might upset you so they asked us not to tell you about it.”

“What? Need I remind you that you work for me? How dare you keep information from me!”

“They felt that hearing about a unified opposition party might distract you.”

“Distract me? Distract me? Anything that threatens this government is my concern.”

“They’re on it. In fact they already have a solution.”

“What is it?”

“We’re going to fight fire with fire. How do you feel about… growing a moustache?”

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Copyright © 2006 Jim Sadlemyer