SNOW HITS CENTRAL CANADA
Topic: January 15, 2007
"Stephen, it's John Baird calling."
"Who?"
"John Baird, your new Environment Minister."
"Great! Stockwell, why don't you run along and fetch me some coffee while I speak to John."
"The usual sir?"
"Yeah. A large triple triple and a twenty pack, no, better make it forty, Tim Bits®. And Stockwell?"
"Yes sir?"
"Hurry back. This crisis won't last long. We need to milk it for all we can. Better take some media with you in case a photo-op presents itself."
"Good thinking sir."
"Hello John? Stephen here."
"How are you holding out sir?"
"We're doing the best we can under the circumstances."
"Not to worry, it shouldn't last too long."
"That's exactly what I'm worried about. There's very little drama associated with this storm. I checked the news, they're just calling it a snowstorm. I want that changed!"
"To what?"
"Let's call it an ice storm. Yeah that's it. Get some theme music written up and call it an ice storm. Have your film crews get some footage of cars sliding into each other etc. I want to see this on every channel by supper time."
"Gee sir, why don't we just call out the army?"
"We can't! Our best snow shovellers are in Afghanistan. Those that aren't are too busy playing paintball to help us. No, we're on our own for this one. Who'd have ever thunk it?"
"Sir, it happens. It's the middle of January. It will snow from time to time in Ontario."
"Not on my watch."