SHIFT BORDER GUARD FOCUS TO SECURITY SAYS REPORT
Topic: March 27, 2007
"Have you anything to declare?"
"Yes. I've been in this line for over two hours. There were only five cars in the line."
"So what's your point?"
"My point is I'm a Canadian citizen. It shouldn't take this long to get back into my own country!"
"I'm sure you can appreciate that since 911, defending our borders has become of prime importance. Park there please."
"What for? I've nothing to declare this trip."
"Listen sir, you want across the border. I want you across the border. If you pay duty on something, we can let you across. What do we have to do to get you across the border today?"
"Lift up the gate and let me through."
"Hmmm. Petty, our duty sniffing dog will check your car."
"What for?"
"To give you time to browse our new duty-free shop we've set up to increase border revenues. Do you have an Air Miles card sir?"
"Of course but-"
"If we find any undeclared beer or cigarettes in your vehicle, you qualify for double air miles! It's a special promotion my supervisor is running this week."
"I told you I have nothing."
"You might be interested in checking your lottery tickets at our Ontario Lotteries Gaming kiosk located near the cash register, you wouldn't believe what a money maker it is."
"I have nothing to declare! And what is an Ontario Lotteries kiosk doing here? This B.C.!"
"I've said too much. Please step through the door marked Security Certificate Detainees...Next!"