"Thanks for coming in ladies and gentlemen. It’s been a banner week for us at the NDP. Before we start I think we should give thanks to whatever or whoever the powers in the cosmos are that delivered such wonderful gifts to us. Joe? Would you like to say a few words?"

"Thanks Jack. Let’s face it folks, the timing of the release of Sir Nicholas Stern’s report on the dire economic impact of global warming couldn’t have been better. Harper had very few options left and they were yanked out from underneath him. We had a chance to slip in our proposal virtually unopposed. I think we should send Tony Blair a box of Red Rose Tea."

"Agreed."

"The next person on our thank you list has to be Stockwell Day."

"Good grief whatever for?"

"Maybe you haven’t heard. He estimates, conservatively, ha ha, that arming and training our border guards will cost around a billion dollars."

"A billion? He said that publicly? Ha!"

"Really! It’s true!"

"Christmas is still two months away!"

"We’re so lucky! When the Liberals announced the gun registry way back when, they said it would only cost two million and have spent over a billion, nearly two, since then. There is no way the public will have confidence in this government either. Nor will they put up with it!

The Liberals can’t critique this without looking like idiots. We’ll be heroes."

"Some of his church buddies insulted homosexuals too."

"Send him a fruit basket."