GAS PRICES JUMP OVERNIGHT
Topic: May 1, 2007
"Wait for it... Wait... Okay now! Everyone is sleeping."
"Are you sure we should be doing this? I don't want to get into trouble."
"Trouble? We've been given the go ahead by you know who. We have full authority to be doing this. Hurry up before another car comes along."
"I think we're going to run out of sevens."
"Well then just hand me a nine."
"A nine? Can we get away with using nines?"
"Of course. A nine, a seven, it doesn't matter. It's incidental."
"But the nines are so heavy."
"Quit griping. The physical act of actually changing the numbers is the easy part. How'd you like to be the guys from the Explanation Department? Now that's got to be a tough job."
"What excuse are they using this time?"
"Something about a pirate ship near Nigeria I believe."
"You've got to be kidding!"
"No, it's true, really. Rather ingenious when you think about it. The more bizarre the story combined with it being unverifiable makes for an easier sell."
"But pirates?"
"Too many reporters and accountants were calling us on our number crunching. I'd like to see them disprove this one."
"How long have you been doing this?"
"All bloody night!"
"That's not what I meant. You must be getting to close to retirement aren't you?"
"Yeah and I can't wait. I've got a lucrative little sideline that'll make my golden years a little more comfortable. Very comfortable indeed."
"Doing what?"
"Making over-sized numbers for gas stations."