RING

"Stockwell Day here, can I help you?"

"My Lexus was stolen."

"Oh my, that’s awful."
"Yes, that’s why I called. It is awful. I want you to get it back."

"Isn’t that a job for the police?"

"I thought so, but they referred me to your office. Something about you being in charge of border security?"

"What do stolen cars have to do with border security?"

"Apparently terrorists overseas are using them as car bombs or to finance their activities."

"Oh my, that’s awful."

"Yes, I know. So it’s important for you to act."

"What can I do?"

"I’ve used my GPS installed in my car to track it. It’s sitting in a container about to be loaded onto a ship called the Black Pearl. I suspect that there are dozens of stolen cars being loaded onto this ship."

"Oh my, that’s awful."

"You keep saying that, just do something!"

"One of my aides has informed me that we have been aware of this problem for over a year now and you can rest assured that we will be acting quickly to resolve this matter in the very near future."

"That’s more like it. Are you going to have the Canadian Border Service swoop in there?"
"We have something a little less stringent in mind."

"And pray tell, what would that be?"

"I have half a mind to fire off a terse letter to them. No, wait… make that two letters. That should get the ball rolling."

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